When it comes to planning a wedding, there are so many different traditions that you can incorporate into your special day. But do you need all of them? How do you decide what’s right for you or what music to choose for that part of the day? Let’s break down some common traditions from a wedding DJ perspective.

Ceremony

Your wedding planner or officiant can help you decide which ceremony elements work best for you, from the order of the processions to which vows you’d like to include. As wedding DJs, here are some of the common questions we get:

What style of music should we play as guests are arriving?

For most wedding ceremonies, there is music playing for about 30 minutes prior to the ceremony starts, as guests are arriving. This music helps set the tone for the ceremony and to create an inviting atmosphere as your guests mingle and are seated.

The choice of pre-ceremony music is as unique as you are! We commonly see a lot of instrumental music, such as instrumental love songs. The soundtrack from the Bridgerton TV show, which is mainly instrumental versions of pop songs, is also extremely popular right now!

Not into instrumental music? We also commonly see acoustic or other softer styles of music that don’t dominate and allow your guests to have conversations. However, if you have a different style of music in mind, especially if you’re picking less traditional songs during your ceremony, go with whatever music best represents the vibe of your wedding day!

Who should be included in the procession, in what order, and what music should we play?

Processions can vary a lot from wedding to wedding. We’ve seen everything from parents, siblings, and full wedding parties walking in to only the couple walking down the aisle.

Here are some questions to think about:

How comfortable is everyone with being the centre of attention and walking down the aisle?
Are both partners walking down the aisle? Or will either partner or any of the attendants be at the front already when the ceremony starts?
Do you have parents, siblings, grandparents, pets, or other family members that you’d like to include in the procession?
Are you having flower girls or ring bearers? (We are seeing a lot of variations on this recently, including friends acting as “flower men” or grandmothers acting as “flower women” or ring bearers. Feel free to skip this tradition or create a new one!)
Are you having a wedding party? Not everyone chooses to, and that’s okay!
Do you want your wedding party to walk down the aisle? Will they enter in pairs or individually?

When it comes to choosing processional music, most couples need at least 2-3 songs: one song for each partner and a separate one for the wedding party and any other people who are walking down the aisle.

However, this depends on how many people you are including and how big your ceremony space is. For example, if your ceremony is taking place outside and it’s 100m from where you start walking to the front of the ceremony space, you may need more music. If you have a large wedding party, or you have lots of family members or other attendants, you may need an extra song or two. You may also need an additional song if you have anyone walking down the aisle who has mobility issues and might need some extra time.

As with the pre-ceremony music, the type of processional songs vary a lot. Some couples want all instrumental music during their ceremony, so they might choose instrumental covers of songs they really like. Maybe there are songs that are really meaningful to you, or maybe something that didn’t make the cut as a first dance song. We’ve even seen couples choose a more upbeat song with choreographed steps down the aisle. This is definitely a point on your wedding day where you can follow tradition or think outside the box.

Want to walk down the aisle at a specific point in a song? Talk to your DJ! Your processional song doesn’t have to start from the beginning.

A couple exchange rings at a wedding with an inTUNE DJ — Photo by: Kate Mercer Photography

What’s a Register Signing?

This is the point in the ceremony where you sign the marriage license. Already married or doing this another time? You can completely skip this part.

If you are doing a register signing, we recommend picking two songs to make sure you have lots of time. These can be light background songs, like the pre-ceremony music, or if you want something more upbeat, a song like Signed, Sealed, Delivered (I’m Yours) by Stevie Wonder is a popular choice.

What’s a Recessional?

This is the song you walk back down the aisle to at the end of the ceremony. This is typically a more upbeat song, so have fun with your selection! Think about how excited you will be at the end of the ceremony when your officiant pronounces you officially married. Pick a fun song to start your celebration!

Cocktail Hour

Most weddings have some sort of cocktail hour between the ceremony and dinner. This gives guests a chance to mingle, and it’s usually a time for the couple, wedding party, and families to take photos.

The length of your cocktail hour can vary (usually between 1-2 hours). This depends on how much time you need for photos - for example, if you’re doing a first look and taking photos prior to the ceremony, you may not need as much time after. It also depends on the schedule for your venue and caterer. Are there other weddings happening at your venue that day? Is your venue open to the public until a certain time. These factors can affect when you have access to your reception space, and may mean you need to have a longer cocktail hour.

Are you doing all of your photos before the ceremony? You can join cocktail hour! Many couples miss most or all of cocktail hour, but if you’re able to join in this gives you a chance to take a break and connect with your guests.

Cocktail hour music can range from instrumental to acoustic, to more upbeat styles like rat pack or motown. This really depends on your personal taste and style. The main thing to keep in mind is that your guests are going to be focused on chatting during cocktail hour. This is maybe not the best time for rap or heavy metal!

Grand Entrance

The grand entrance, or wedding party introductions, are another point where we see a lot of variations. For some couples, their entrance is a big moment - we even had a couple who sang a duet to each other as they entered! Other couples do not prefer being the centre of attention and decide to skip this tradition altogether. So how do you decide what to do?

The first question to consider is: are you joining cocktail hour? If you’re going to be taking part in cocktail hour and mingling with your guests, you may decide that you don’t need a grand entrance.

The next question is: who should be included in the grand entrance? Do you want to include your parents or other family members? Is your wedding party going to participate? Or will it just be the two of you?

If your parents or family members are going to be part of your grand entrance, they can walk in to music, or they can be introduced from their seats.

Members of your wedding party can walk in individually, in pairs, or in groups. For example, sometimes all of the bridesmaids walk in together as a group instead of individually. Some wedding parties like to do choreographed moves or other actions as they enter, and some prefer just to walk in and take their seats. This is completely up to you and your wedding party.

Grand entrance music tends to be upbeat and fun. We often see songs like I Gotta Feeling by The Black Eyed Peas or You Make My Dreams by Hall and Oates.

We typically either see one song for the wedding party and a second song for the couple, or separate songs for each group that’s entering. However, you can do whatever variation you’d like. Do you want one song for everyone, including the two of you? Go for it!

If you are doing separate songs for each person or group, keep in mind that your DJ will likely only be playing 15-20 seconds of the song. Enough for those people to enter and get to their seats. So make sure you pick an upbeat part of the song that everyone will recognize.

A fun grand entrance with an inTUNE wedding DJ — Photo by: Dylan and Sandra Photography

Emcee

An Emcee is a crucial part of most wedding receptions. Your Emcee makes announcements, invites people up who are giving speeches, facilitates games and activities, and generally keeps events flowing through dinner and your guests engaged.

Unless you are planning a very simple reception with no grand entrance, no speeches, and no games or other activities, we highly encourage you to have an Emcee!

Whether you are hiring your DJ to be your Emcee, or you are asking a friend or family member, make sure you find someone who is comfortable with public speaking, and who can provide the level of energy and engagement you’re looking for during your reception. Are you looking for an Emcee who can hype up the room and get everyone in a party mood? You probably need someone who has some prior Emcee experience.

Games

Games are a part of weddings that some people love and others would rather avoid. This all depends on the vibe you’re looking for at your reception, and how willing your guests will be to participate.

For example, at some weddings if the guests want the couple to kiss, they have to stand up and sing a song with the word “love” in it. This game can be lots of fun (and hilarious!) if you have a room full of music lovers or musical theatre enthusiasts. But it’s definitely not for everyone. When choosing games, you should make sure that it’s something that both you and your guests will enjoy.

Also consider how much time you have before, during, and after dinner. If your dinner is starting later, such as at 7pm or after, you might want to skip the games so that you can start dancing earlier. Or if you have a lot of speeches or other activities happening during dinner, you may not have time for games.

Most games take place before the dance floor opens, so consider the timeline of the evening when deciding how many games you want to have and when to work them into the schedule of events.

Dinner

We’ve seen so many dinner options, including formal dinners with multiple courses, buffets, informal dinners with no assigned seating, and cocktail-style dinners where guests mingle.

The dinner music varies a lot as well. Clients sometimes ask if they need music during dinner, and we say: absolutely!

You might be having speeches or other activities during dinner, but they won’t be happening the entire time. Dinner music helps to create a nice atmosphere when guests are chatting and eating. Picture going out to dinner at a restaurant - you may not notice what type of music is playing, but it can be a bit awkward with no music, right? It’s the same with your wedding dinner.

This is a good opportunity to play music that you or your guests want to hear, but that may not be good for dancing, such as slower songs or more niche music genres. As with cocktail hour music, you’ll want to make sure that your dinner music genres aren’t so overpowering that your guests can’t have conversations.

An entertaining inTUNE wedding emcee — Photo by: Adam Kozak Photography

Speeches

You might not want any speeches at your wedding, or you might have a lot of guests who are sharing kind words. We most commonly see 4-5 speeches, which includes parents, best people, and the couple.

However, you may have speeches from siblings or other family members, other wedding party members or friends, or grandparents.

When it comes to incorporating speeches into your timeline, we recommend distributing them through dinner. If you are having multiple courses, your main course will likely be the longest, so this is a great time to schedule multiple speeches. It’s also fairly common for the couple’s speech and sometimes 1-2 other speeches to take place during dessert.

Scheduling your speeches throughout dinner is a great way to make sure that your guests stay engaged during your reception and that you can open the dance floor right after dinner.

Cake Cutting

This is another tradition that some people are choosing to do without. It depends on if you want to serve cake to your guests, or if you want a cake so that you can get cake cutting photos.

We have a lot of couples who choose to get a small cake just for the photos. They often don’t announce the cake cutting to their guests, and just choose a time that works for them and their photographer. If your cake isn’t being served and you don’t want everyone’s attention, this is a great option.

If you want your guests to watch your cake cutting, especially if it’s being served, then this is a chance to announce it and pick a fun song. We recommend songs like How Sweet It Is by James Taylor or Sugar, Sugar by The Archies. There are lots of songs with the words “sweet” or “sugar”, so have fun with it.

Cultural Wedding Traditions

Depending on your family’s cultural background, there may be traditions that you want to include in your wedding day.

As wedding DJs, we can incorporate this music throughout the day. Maybe you have special ceremony songs. Maybe there are some songs that your family would like to hear that aren’t good for dancing. We recommend adding those during cocktail hour or dinner.

If you want to include a specific dance, like an hora, this often works well during the first hour or so after the dance floor opens. At this point in the day, there are usually a lot of guests on the dance floor, and your older guests won’t have gone home yet. Your photographer will likely still be present as well, so you can get some great photos of your special dance!

First Dance

Even at very simple weddings with few traditional elements, the couple usually has a first dance. You might want to do it before dinner right after your grand entrance, or you might want to do it after dinner right before the dance floor opens.

This is probably the most personal song choice out of all of your wedding music. Do you have a song that you both love, or that’s meaningful to you as a couple? Maybe it’s a song from a concert you went to together, or a TV show or movie you watched together. Or maybe the lyrics describe your relationship or love story. There are no wrong answers!

Typically a first dance song is a slower song. We recommend either a song that’s a maximum of 3 minutes or having your DJ fade out early. Most couples choose to dance for 2-3 minutes, and couples who really don’t like being the centre of attention sometimes dance for even less time.

If you want to dance to a longer song or a less traditional song, you may want to consider talking to a choreographer or taking some dance classes. 3 minutes is a long time, so learning some steps can help you feel more comfortable.

If you are doing choreography, make sure you talk to your DJ! They may need to pay attention to specific cues, like fading out the song when you do a particular move. Or you may need to provide a custom edit of the song so that you get the exact timing you’re used to practicing to. Make sure that you sort out these details ahead of time so that there are no surprises on the day.

Parent/Family Dances

The most common family dances are the father-daughter dance and the mother-son dance. However, you can dance with whomever you want! This could be a step-parent, grandparent, sibling, or other relative. It could also be a friend, or maybe a dance with the whole wedding party.

We also see couples who choose to combine dances, such as doing the father-daughter and mother-son dances at the same time to the same song.

You also don’t have to make these dances formal if you don’t want to. These dances often take place during dinner or after dinner right before the dance floor opens, and have a formal announcement. However, instead of having a formal dance with everyone watching, sometimes couples choose to dedicate a song to a parent or other loved one during dancing, and invite all of the guests to join them during that song. If your parents or loved ones are shy, this can be a great option to celebrate with them without as much attention.

Bouquet Toss & Garter Toss

Bouquet Toss:

We’re seeing fewer bouquet tosses in recent years, and there are a few possible reasons. For couples who are looking to simplify their weddings, this is an easy tradition to cut. Flowers are also expensive, so a lot of couples choose to keep and maybe even preserve their bouquet.

If you’re thinking about a bouquet toss, here are some things to consider:

Do you want to use your real bouquet or get a fake one?
Will your guests be interested in participating?
Do you have a lot of single guests?

If you don’t have a lot of single guests, this is definitely a tradition you can skip.

If you are going to toss your bouquet, we recommend having it after dancing has started. Before your late night food is served is a good time. An upbeat song is a must! Single Ladies by Beyonce is by far the most popular choice.

Garter Toss:

We don’t see many weddings that incorporate a garter toss. Like the bouquet toss, it’s an easy one to cut if you want to simplify or save time. It’s also a tradition that many people see as cheesy or outdated.

If you’re going to do a garter toss, we recommend that you talk about it as a couple ahead of time and make sure that you’re both comfortable and know what to expect. When deciding how you want to do the toss and what song to choose, consider who’s going to be present and the vibe that you’re looking for at your reception.

A busy dance floor at an inTUNE DJ wedding — Photo by: Peter B Photography

Dancing

This is the part of the evening that’s an important focus for a lot of couples! If you’re looking for tips on choosing the right music for your wedding, check out this post.

There are some different factors that can affect dancing at your wedding.

If you have a later dinner, a dinner with a lot of courses, or a lot of speeches or other activities planned, this might mean that the dance floor won’t open until 10pm or later. Don’t panic! For most weddings, this still means that there’s time for a few hours of dancing. Or if that’s not enough dancing time for you and your guests, talk to your venue and caterer and see if you can shift events earlier.

What if I’m not into dancing?

We do get couples who aren’t big dancers, and that’s okay! In that case, we encourage you to think about your friends and relatives who are going to be present. Do they like to dance? For most weddings there’s usually a dance floor, even if the couple aren’t the ones leading it. In that case, you may want your DJ to take the lead with the dance music by reading the room and choosing songs that your guests are responding to.

What if I love to dance but my guests don’t?

Even if your dance floor isn’t packed, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have fun! If your guests aren’t big dancers, make sure there are seating areas where they can sit and chat. You can also offer alternate activities, such as games, a photo booth, or a campfire.

If you don’t expect any dancing at your wedding, then you can choose to have a cocktail-style vibe after dinner. Rather than having dance music, you can choose a similar vibe to cocktail hour or dinner music that allows guests to mingle and chat.

Last Dance

When choosing the last song of the night, think about the tone you want as your guests are leaving. Do you want to finish with a fun, upbeat group dance, or with more of a sweet tone, like a slow dance to a love song?

If you’re going for an upbeat option, we recommend something well known that your guests can sing along to. A sing-along works better than an intense dance song to wrap up the night. The most common songs we see are hits like Closing Time by Semisonic or Don’t Stop Believin’ by Journey. If you don’t have a specific last song in mind, your DJ can also choose a song based on the mood of the dance floor at the end of the night.

Some couples choose to have a private last dance together after the guests have left. If this is something that you would like to do, you may need to have your guests leave 10-15 minutes early, so that the room is empty before your venue and DJ contracts end. In this case, you’ll likely want to choose a slow song for your private dance, and a separate fun song for your last dance with your guests.

A smiling couple exit through silly string at an inTUNE DJ wedding — Photo by: Simkova Studios

There are so many traditions that you could include on your wedding day. The most important thing to consider is the type of event that the two of you want to have. If there are traditions that you don’t want to include, then don’t! If you’re looking for advice on what traditions to include, when to schedule them throughout your wedding day, and what music to choose, your wedding DJ and other vendors are there to help!

Which Wedding Traditions Are Right For Me?